June 4th, 2003

moi

Wondrous Strange...

I didn't wake up until 8 this morning (Odd!), and was all of a fluster to begin with, then the postman rang the bell with a huge envelope I had to sign for...It turned out to be all the cartoons I had submitted to the now sadly defunct SLAB-O-CONCERTE for a proposed book about 6-7 years ago.. When it had become embarrassingly clear that this book was not gonna happen,I began asking for the stuff back. This went on for years, until I assumed it all must have been (shriek-) lost, and just gave up, (but naturally, never stopped making moan...)
No explanation, or anything, but hey, I'm not bothered. Wotta thrill!...At least it was,until I had a quick browse through some of it, and was struck yet again by how profoundly lame most of my oeuvre is. I don't know how or why I dare to set it before even a tiny 'public'...Grizzle !!! (Hey, I can't help it, all right, I got conditions-) Of course, I really am very, very glad and grateful indeed to see it all again, even if it is rubbish, and shall now go about tidying up, etc. to see how much is worth salvaging for future publication. Whoa, I hadn't realised how much original stuff I'd sent. Whew...
I was watching a film about Lenny Bruce last night, in which his aged mother commented that he always had been a 'melancholy child'. That description has been applied to me, too. As ever, I wonder what exacty causes one to have a sad and solemn world view even at a very early age? In my case, I had unpleasantly doolally parents and Mother Church to contend with, but so many others have endured real abuse,'orrible illness and hideous catastophes, yet retained an annoyingly chirpy outook on life. It seems to indicate we really are 'born that way', a theory I abhor...I just dunno. I better go get some more Vanilla Diet Coke before I get the DTs or summat-
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