May 19th, 2002

moi

Quintessence of Dust...

Days like this I really wish there were drugs that worked. Some people reckon their lives were transformed by Prozac, but I've given it several chances and it has no effect at all, not even to send me into psychokiller mode, which at least would be more interesting than my present unhappy - blancmange state. I lose so much creative time being like this.
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Days like this I really wish there were drugs that worked. Some people reckon their lives were transformed by Prozac, but I've given it several chances and it has no effect at all, not even to send me into psychokiller mode, which at least would be more <i>interesting</i> than my present unhappy - blancmange state. I lose so much creative time being like this. <sigh...> I feel really lonely (which is weird, for me -) but I can't stand being around people...I despise most of 'em, and I've become too withdrawn and incoherent to communicate with the rest...
I have a desperate desire to get out of town for a while.( It's been over five years since I've had the money to go anywhere, and I'll never have it again...) I really fancy somewhere like Estonia!.There was a TV show about the upcoming Eurovision in Tallin, and it totally appealed to me. Cold, old, gloomy and weirdly poetic. They seem delightfully <b>unpleasant</b> people, too. Excellent... I fell hard for Prague, despite being robbed, and experiencing all sorts of Kafkaesque crap, there. I would have liked to live there for a couple of months , just absorbing it. I think it's probably gone too touristy already, although I'd still like to go again, but Hungary, Poland and such are calling, me too...Spooky vampire countries, not yet quite totally plastic,thanks to to Communism! ...Needless to say, the lotto failed me again.Ohhhhhhh....Arse.
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