Crazycrone's Corner

Complaining, Crabbing,Caterwauling...

I was skint and desperate, so I went
 to The Brothel and begged them to take me on for some 'casual' shifts. Wearily, the madam (PJ Harvey) agreed to give me a try. I actually got a few customers. One was a suited and booted businessman who looked like Lee Van Cleef. Then there was Walt Whitman; quite frisky for an ancient beardy man. I remarked that I was a bit surprised to see him there, as I'd thought he fancied men. As a rule, he said, he did, but he dropped in now and then, as he occasionally  enjoyed sex with a 'witchy woman.'

Then I was an undergraduate at 'Brooklyn College'. My boyfriend, Benedict Cumberbatch (!) was also a young student, but already something of a campus celebrity, as he was expected to have  a great career. I didn't particulary fancy him 'that way', but was flattered that he seemed quite besotted with me, and I was gaining status by association.
He was directing himself in HAMLET, and had cast me as Gertrude. It was a sort of quickie 'rehearsal'  production, but everyone else was able to recite their parts without the script. I could get through Act One, but my brain just couldn't hold any more lines than that. (One of my problems in my RL efforts to be an actor-) I was getting really stresed out, as I was going to mess up the production, and once BC realised how lame I really was, he was sure to give me the boot, both from HAMLET, (Envious teenage Meryl Streep was lurking already, hoping to be promoted from her silent lady-in-waiting type to Queen, when I fucked up-) and my position as Cool Guy's Girlfriend. Then it all dissolved into one of those sagas where you're running around a huge building trying to find an unoccupied toilet...

Killing Critters Is Very Bad, But...
wtf cat
Of course, I was sickened and saddened by the cruel and pointless death of popular lion Cecil, but it's really not the Holocaust. I don't think I've seen such a frenzy of emotional incontinece since Dead Diana.
I've also been wondering if I should block this anti-animal cruelty group that keeps posting on my FB feed. We should, of course, be aware of these things,and protest against them, but this is more like torture porn; constant graphic photos of dreadfully abused/dead animals doesn't help them. The comments tend to be rather peculiar, too; lots of upper case hollering, bad grammar and spelling, and intense blood lust..."CUT HIS PENIS OFF!", "JESUS will send them to HELL to burn FOREVER for this!" I don't think that's Jesus' style, somehow.
Speaking of torture porn, I caught up with the first two HUMAN CENTIPEDE flicks. Actually, they're rather better than I anticipated. The first one featured a mesmerisingly mad turn by the very scary-looking Dieter Laser (the alarming 'Mantrid' in LEXX), and the second, in grungy b&w, boasts a truly astonishing performance by one Laurence R, Harvey, an utterly er-unique-looking individual, who gives a totally uninhibited and creepy impersonation of the mentally-challenged maniac. Crikey!

I also watched BIG EYES, a rather conventional-looking film from Tim Burton. It was an interesting story, though, which I didn't really remember from RL. I knew the wife was actually responsible for the unaccountably popular 'Keane' paintings, but didn't recall the big court case, etc.

Fubar'd Stuff, Etc....
I've only seen one press complaint about the newish Boris buses, but I'm amazed they haven't caused a fainting epidemic. They are quite nice-looking, but unfit for purpose. I suppose the non-public transport reliant designers assumed that because of the Routmaster style open platform at the back, that there was no need for air conditioning OR windows that open. In London, of course, buses are often stationary for longish periods, and the air that does get in is heavy with toxic traffic fumes... I used to like travelling on the 24. No more.
The lift to my floor has broken down yet again; four days, now, This is very tedious for my knees, my rickety shopping trolley, poor old Lula the dog, and many others.
Everyone's increasingly uptight about the estate 'regeneration' (ie: social cleansing) that will be taking place over the next five years. These poorly-plumbed, dangerously lifted towers are 'safe', but the low rise courts are doomed. (They've just finished upgrading them to 'decent' standard...) They will be replaced by taller buildings, and a lot of our precious green space will go, too. We have enough crime around here without bloody overcrowding. Of course, much more council housing is needed and has to go somewhere. I dunno, it's all  a mess.Saw two quite upsetting documentaries. BLACKFISand CIRCUS ELEPHANT RAMPAGE, that made me ponder on how little we know our fellow sentient beings, and how even with the best intentions, we often do them (and ourselves!) so much damage.
Another Channel 5 'documentary', part of the Supersize Season (!) completely sickened me. The lipsmackingly spiteful narrations of these things are always nauseating. ('She gets over £1500 in government handouts a month!' etc) Possibly worse than that, are the people they choose to present. Two very fat men who want to work were shown, although, of course their state funded idle lifestyle was also mocked, but the admittedly horrid woman was obviously in a bad way mentally, and couldn't realistically be expected to hold down a job, even at a 'normal' weight. Much was made of the luxurious wetrooms provided by councils for us unwieldy fat bastards, too. I felt a bit guilty for having one...but seriously, even at my current less immense weight, I couldn't get out of a bath with my kaput knees, without serious risk to life and limb.


Dull Days...
My mind has completely gone. All I can deal with these days is watching TV...
Saw the rest of RIPPER STREET series 3. Perhaps not so good as the first two, but still pretty damn  good. It starts on BBC1 next week.
Cronenburg's MAPS TO THE STARS was an excellently odd coal-black comedy/ ghost (?) story/psychological thriller. Quite creepy and kinky.
NIGHTCRAWLER was  interesting, too. How does Jake Gylenhaal manage to keep transporming his body all the time, from scrawny nerd to pumped athletic type and back again? Surely that ain't healthy.

Had my ears checked for wax build-up. (Ain't got none...) so now I'll have to be tested to see if I'm properly going deaf, and need a bloody hearing aid. The nurse, who I hadn't seen in some time, said I looked 'fantastic' and how good it was to see me looking 'so well' (ie: less fat).

Just Another Day...
i am bored
Watched FOXCATCHER, quite a strange film about a true life murder case that I don't remember at all, although it must have been pretty high-profile, as it involved a hugely rich man with a famous name, who, among other fixations, was obsessed with wrestling. Very weird, and quite engrossing.
The horrid clammy humidity continues, although there's some breeze, and it wasn't quite as hot as threatened.
BIG BROTHER final tonight. My money's on ordinary-girl Chloe, although my favourite is still grumpy-kid Jack ('Pie Face'), with low self esteem rich boy Nick a close second. (His hair fascinates me...)
Scary incident the other night, when a bloke from our block was attacked by four youths outside, and had his face slahed with a piece of broken glass. His dog chased them off. There are a lot of kids hanging around lately ('Eastern Europaeans!' huffs R Next Door...) Saturday morning when I went to the park, I found three of them sprawed spark out on the lawn, one right in front of 'my' rowing machine. I thought perhaps I should ask if they were OK, as they could have been dead, or OD'd, but I was afraid that it was a ruse to get people to come over, so they could jump up and murder them...After some time, one did get up, and stagger towards the others; a girl,it turned out, who looked about twelve; terrible to see kids so young living like that. We'll be seeing a lot more of it, I fear, in this Big Society...

Ooey Gooey...
Filthy HUMID, murky weather; stench of the Sneeze Blossom hanging heavy in the foetid air. I've done bugger all except read Stephen King, and watch another episode of RIPPER STREET.
I caught up with HOW TO BE A BOHEMIAN the other day, and found it very enjoyable, although I can't bear the presenter, that Coren-Wotsit woman, especially when fawning on the equally odious AA Gill. Otherwise, there was a lot of interesting stuff to see, and a good selection of talking heads. I especially enjoyed the splendid Molly Parkin, and Maggi Hambling is still very welcome to try and turn me, any time.

Sickly Days...
This incessant very high pollen count is really messing me up. If I take the one-only megadose antihistamine tab in the morning, it gets me through exercising and pootling around for a bit, but by about three, I'm a constantly sneezing. itchy-eyed, rasping,wheezy,  raw-throated wreck. Wah.
Being even less functional than usual, I've spent yet more time in front of the Fool's Lantern:

Caught a couple of chapters of RIPPER STREET series 3. Yipes!
Re-watched ANDREI RUBLEV after many years. There were some bits I didn't remember seeing , like the nasty (real!) death of a horse (I disapprove, needless to say-) and the blink-and-miss return of the mute Idiot Girl, now a wealthy Tartar wife, at the end.
WHIPLASH really is very good, with an alarming turn from the excellent JK Simmons. I've been a big fan of his since his frightening 'Schillinger' in OZ.
MONTAGE OF HECK is a very absorbing biodoc about poor Kurt Cobain.
BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES is definitely the best of the HOBBIT trilogy, but pretty meh, all in all.. Strange; I enjoyed the LORD OF THE RINGS films hugely, although they were equally overblown and pompous. I don't know why this batch seemed so much less involving. Maybe I'd just had enough of that particular world. All those prosthetic-laden gnomes were annoying, too... Why were there two (doomed) good-looking ones?


Interesting Times...
Heaven knows whar's going to happen after the Greek referendum. I'm anti-austerity, so was pleased at the 'No', but all sorts of weird and unpleasant things might ensue, for everyone...
Ambulance and cop cars at Larkhall Park again. That's such a bad-vibey place. Something rum always seems to be happening there.
What is the story on those new 24 buses with the sealed windows? The assumption would be that they're  air conditioned, but you *gasp* wouldn't know it.
HUMANS is getting quite interesting now. Nice touch at the end of last night's episode.Ew.


Damn, I am So. Bloody. Hungry...

Icky Sticky...
Still too hot for me, and it feels muggy, too, but the worst torture today is POLLEN. Oh, the sneezing and itching. Yuck.
I don't really watch BIG BROTHER any more, but I dip into it, now and then. The housemates are so dull, they've been reduced to dragging in BB 'legends' from the past to spice things up, Marc is definitely one of the most obnoxious looking twerps imaginable,
I was. once again, incapable of further activity after exercise and a trip to LIDL. This afternoon I sat gawping at a NETFLIX series, FROM DUSK TILL DAWN based on the film. Not very good, but good enough to google groggily at.

Here Comes Feckin' Summer...
Got up early, this morning, already hot, and did my Official Crazy Old Fat Lady Workout routine downstairs at 7:30. Glad to be done with it, have been hiding out in darkened rooms ever since. Fans have been unpacked and await the morrow, when it's going to get even worse. I send compassionate vibes to the young 'uns who have to work and use public transport. Don't forget your bottled water, and hang in there...Come to think of it, I just cannot comprehend how people who do Ramadan don't actually pass out several times a day, especially when it's extra hot. Not eating all day is unpleasant, but not drinking AT ALL seems downright dangerous. Is there some special technique that gets people through? Just can't figure it...
I put down one of those Cool Pads for Amazy, who seems completely uninterested in it. Stoopid animal...
Stuff wot I have watched recently:
A newish restoration of CABINET OF CALIGARI, which looks good, and has several bits I don't remember seeing before.
Another restoration, of a 1934 three-film adaptation of LES MISERABLES; not bad at all; definitely has its moments.
The final episode of JONATHAN STRANGE AND MR NORELL. I've enjoyed this, but found some of the episodes dragged a bit. Never read the book, but some who have, seem to approve of this series. It certainly went out with a bang. Loads of entertaining action (and Childermass was such a hottie, throughout...)
I also quite liked the first episode of Antony Pappano's CLASSICAL VOICES series, chatting about the soprano voice and showing interesting old clips of divas in action, etc.
We have a new subtitled, sombre series on Saturday nights (BBC4), CORDON, a Belgian effort, which so far, seems pretty diverting.


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